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fan_elune+ The Girl actually freaks out when she figures out that the Boy is a Vampire.
+ The Girl is actually scared of the Vampire Boy.
+ The Girl does not think that the Vampire Boy sneaking into her bedroom is hot. She thinks it's scary.
+ Humans outside of the Girl are portrayed as Actual People.
+ The Girl actually cares about her Friends, who are Actual People.
+ Actual People have Plot too.
+ Plot exists.
+ Actual People might just wind up dead. (See Previous Reason.)
+ The Vampire Boy does not see why he should not be happy. He does not hate himself.
+ The Vampire Boy is a fan of Seinfeld and Scorsese. The Vampire Boy's Vampire Brother is a fan of Anne Rice. This trumps being a fan of scrapbooking and Jerry Springer by about a thousand points.
+ The Vampire Boy's Vampire Brother makes fun of Twilight. Score!
+ The Vampire Boy's Vampire Brother is more fun than any of the Cullens. Apart maybe from Alice.
+ The Girl does not lead the Human That Lusts After Her on. They are able to remain Friends without her telling him she loves him. Or him falling in love with her newborn daughter.
+ The Vampire Boy's Evil Vampire Brother is more than just Evil. He has Three Dimensions.
+ In fact, all the characters have Three Dimensions. Even the Humans outside of the Girl. (See Earlier Reason Mentioning Actual People.)
+ The Vampire Boy and the Girl have not had sex yet either. But it's not Off The Cards Until Marriage. They just haven't got round to it yet.
+ The Girl has not asked the Vampire Boy to turn her.
+ Even when the Girl and the Vampire Boy are writing in their diaries, their gooey corny cheese does not even begin to rival with Twilight. For instance:
+ The Vampire Boy is never referred to as an Adonis.
+ There is no Fucked Up Animal Metaphore. Or Ankle-Tattooed People to make it happen.
+ Oh, and also? Vampires don't fucking sparkle.
+ When Vampires dazzle someone, they're doing it on purpose.
+ The Vampire Boy does not creepily tell the Girl what her blood smells like. Hopefully, if the Vampire Boy ends up telling her, her blood will smell of blood, not fucking flowers.
I could go on.
