I have one word for you: "garage."

[fan_elune]

If you read this entry, prepare to be "spoiled" for Firewall. "Spoiled," quotation marks, because this whole film is so unsurprising that I'm not sure it actually qualifies as being spoiled.

Okay, so. Firewall. Is a crappy movie. But we all knew that already. And Seattle and its outskirts seem to have amazing, free-for-all wifi coverage? Neat. Also, Harrison Ford bores me, but oh, Paul, and oh, Nikolaj. (And oh, Robert and Alan while I'm at it. Does Alan Arkin need that much money that he needs to take small uninteresting parts? People! It's Alan Arkin! Why are you not offering him amazing parts already? Well. At least I got to see him a bit. And hear him. There's something special about his voice.)

But really mostly, Nikolaj and Paul. Bill and Liam were totally shagging. That's why Liam didn't look too worried when Beth went all "he doesn't have any reason to keep you around once he's got the money." What he was thinking was, "'course he does, I'm the best shag he's ever had."

Also, 24's Chloe going all "what did I do wrong, Jack?" "I don't understand, Jack" blah-blah-whining-blah meant déjà-fuckin'-vu and I could've done without. Hell.

I can't believe even the dog made it. Seriously. Richard, mate, you're working on a romcom? Sure we need a happy-for-all ending. But when you're working on a movie with a bad guy like Bill Cox? You want people to die, and no all the bad guys don't count. Bloody hell. The bleedin' dog made it. ...okay, Harry died as well, but hell do we not care about Harry or what. Bill totally would've killed at least one family member to make Jack realise he meant business.

Although, granted, I adored the Flintstones/cookie scene. Paul at his best villain, all chuckling at the cartoon before assuring the kid there were no peanuts in the cookies, "I promise." Oh, how I loved that scene. (Okay, not Paul at his best villain, because, just no, hello Gangster #1, and hello Kiss Kiss Bang Bang too, but still.) Also loved him in the pancake scene. I think I have a thing for Bill mixed with food items. ...mmm. Anyway.

So the movie was crap, but I was duly warned by enough friends that it would be, and thus it went alright. I'm very grateful I went with Joey, though, because I'm sorry, I hate people who talk during the movies, but I wouldn't have made it without commenting through the whole thing. Honestly.

Tonight's Ice Age 2 yay! Hopefully as funny as the first one.

Oh, and I spent ten good minutes trying to figure Bill out once out of the theatre. Why did he want the money all that badly? It irks me to see Paul interpret a character that is so undefined, apart from his coldness and greed. Why the greed? How did he get there? We know nothing about him. Hmpf.

As a sidenote, no matter how badass/psychotic Paul's got in previous movies, I'd never found him so physically impressive. Which is ironic when you think of the "Harrison barely felt his punch" anecdote, but still. He was physically impressive, the way he handled himself, and dominated some scenes and other characters. I was rather nonplussed.

Also, got the 2-disc edition of Serenity in the mail today! Yay! Am off to watch Take a Walk on Serenity. BDH love!!

Comments

[the-grynne.livejournal.com]

Bill and Liam were totally shagging. That's why Liam didn't look too worried when Beth went all "he doesn't have any reason to keep you around once he's got the money." What he was thinking was, "'course he does, I'm the best shag he's ever had."

Yes!! totally what was going through my mind. Ah, subtext. What would we be without it. *g*

Also, 24's Chloe going all "what did I do wrong, Jack?" "I don't understand, Jack" blah-blah-whining-blah meant déjà-fuckin'-vu and I could've done without. Hell.

She drove me. NUTS. Seriously wished her STONEDEAD, she was so annoying. And what was with the business with her nerdy not-boyfriend?! I didn't want to know; and the worst part is, I could just hear the screenwriters clapping themselves on the backs for coming up with these silly sideplots that somehow get tied up in whatisname's escape plan. (See how much I wasn't paying attention to Harrison?)

[fan-elune.livejournal.com]

Subtext? I don't even think there was subtext, mostly just the workings of the deranged minds of a few fangirls. ;) But then Nikolaj never fails to set off my gaydar anyway. And Paul's characters are always a pleasure to slash.

Also, I completely thought of you when they were on the phone - Liam and Bill, I mean. Picturing the sweet nothings the one off camera was actually telling the other and stuff. Heh!

Jack Stanfield. I wish I didn't remember his name. Hell. And yes, I'm sure they were really proud of themselves. This whole script is so bad, I'm just. Whatever, guys. Even I could do better. Honestly.

But, hey. There was Paul, so it wasn't all that terrible. Paul and his voice.

[elite.livejournal.com]

Too bad about Firewall, although your review is basically what I expected. Am still excited to see it when it comes out on DVD here in June.

Yay for Walk On Serenity! Look at Alan's face when he's talking about the attitude of their thrusters. Just look at the look on that boy's face, and his fingers. Then look at them again. His face says "Oh yes, I know what I am doing with my fingers..."

My computer died so I won't be on AIM for a while but I am working on my ridiculous fic still!

[fan-elune.livejournal.com]

Well, see, when you know exactly what you're going in for? That movie's actually pretty entertaining. It's a nice movie to tear apart, you know? slashing the hell out of it helps, too.

...oh god. When he grabbed that lever, I just. My brain got flooded with pornpornporn. And - FOREARMS! I will never get over his forearms. If he has his sleeves rolled up at Collectormania I might just lose coherency.

Aw, sorry to hear about your comp! I'm glad to know that you are, though, yay! Don't hesitate to e-mail it to me the second you want somebody's opinion! (Does it show that I'm eager? I've been rereading bits and pieces of you know what books, actually. In preparation, as it were. Heh.)