It's been a long while coming

[fan_elune]

Right. So a while ago, we had a debate with greenie_breizh, the_swordman and a couple other friends. Not all of us agreed on what the best orgasms were - on your own or with someone. Not so surprisingly, it seemed that there was a boy/girl divide. So, I give you The Orgasm Poll. I couldn't not, because I'm curious, and sex interests me.

Feel free to elaborate in the comments, if you want! (Actually, please do. It'll give me a happy.)

[Poll #740649]

This post is unlocked, in case you've got an unashamed friendlist you want to direct here. Don't hesitate to pimp.

Comments

[themegs.livejournal.com]

Hey honey. I'd like to take your poll but one question. When you say "which chromosome," do you mean which gender gives the best orgasms or which gender is the person taking the poll?

[fan-elune.livejournal.com]

Oh, you. Youyouyou. I don't actually expect everyone to be bisexual and able to choose which gender gives the best orgasms. ;) (I did almost add a "sexuality" question, but figured it wasn't really relevant.)

[themegs.livejournal.com]

hee Good. Because I wouldn't have been able to decide.

[fan-elune.livejournal.com]

Heh. Well, it would've been a horribly sexist question, too. Because no matter what people think it's not actually easier to give good sex to a person of the same gender as you. People are always different, and what works for you won't necessarily work for them, and and and.

And I'm rambling.

[themegs.livejournal.com]

Now, because I'm not shy and because this wouldn't fit in the extra comments window:

When I say that the best orgasms come from "making lurve," I don't necc. mean sex sex or with a romantic partner. It's about the intimacy, strong feelings involved, communication, caring about giving to the other person. Like giving and receiving oral with a best friend.

I should qualify this with the information that I've never really done one night stands to that sexual a degree. I've been intimate with two people in my life: my best friend/girlfriend of one year, who I was in love with, and my boyfriend of nearly seven years.

[fan-elune.livejournal.com]

...wait, oral sex isn't sex? Oral sex completely is sex. "Third base" completely is sex. Otherwise what exactly do girls do together?

That said, I'm right there with you on the importance of feelings and intimacy. Devising exactly what options to give people as answers was a bitch, let me tell you, and I hate boxing things off under labels and into categories, but most people probably wouldn't just post their orgasmic experience in comments. Which is a shame. Yay for non-shyness! Anyway.

Even in one-night stands, though, it's all about intimacy and comfort, I find. Better with a friend than a stranger, unless you're very lucky as far as clicking with the stranger. But there's something that you only find in long-standing relationships - the depth of the feelings, knowing each other so well, having learned each other and the surge of pheromones, or whatever it is, that comes from making love with somebody you actually are in love with.

Or, well. Those are my own two cents, anyway.

[themegs.livejournal.com]

Oral sex is sex and making love. I just wanted to make that clear about my answer, because there are odd ignorant people who assume that because I've been with my boyfriend for so long that my bisexuality has somehow disappeared. It's really aggravating. That's like saying that because I've been with my blonde boyfriend for so long that I no longer find brunettes attractive.

There have been a couple of people that I hooked up with for one night and felt an amazing connection with, and I think the potential for that kind of intimacy was there. But, at that time, I had never been really sexual with someone and I didn't want the first time to be with someone who wasn't a love or a close friend. I was the shy girl who was never kissed until I was 17 and then I met Mike when I was 19, so I didn't really have a lot of time where I was doing the dating/hooking up thing.

[fan-elune.livejournal.com]

Sing it, girlfriend! I've used the hair colour analogy so many times trying to explain things to people. Even without being with one gender for incredibly long people assume that you're only bisexual if you have sex with both genders. Highly frustrating, yes.

Very understandable. I was more... um. How to not insult myself here? Carefree. Let's go with carefree. My first time was on my sixteenth birthday, with a mate, but nobody I was all that close with. Except we connected that night, and it was a one-night stand, yes, but there was no awkwardness afterwards and it's a very good memory. That said, I've also had the experience of much less pleasurable one-night stands, so I know both sides of the coin. Ugh. I was the previously shy girl, and the not-so-hot best friend of that really hot girl, and I wanted to live, you know?

[themegs.livejournal.com]

hee I would never judge anyone for having a free and active sex life, as long as it was honest on both sides. If you sleep with a hundred people and it's casual sex and good fun and each of you knows what's going on, that's nothing to be ashamed of. But sleeping with one person and hurting them because you made them think it meant more to you than it did, that's what I personally have an issue with.

[fan-elune.livejournal.com]

Again with the right there with you. I'm all for casual sex, as long as it's clear to both parties what it is, and what it isn't.

[gabby-silang.livejournal.com]

I'd just add the obvious: orgasm isn't everything. Based on orgasm alone, I'm best off with my own right hand. Based on overall experience that leaves me breathless, sweaty, exhausted, and glowing? There's nothing like some familiar company.

[fan-elune.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thank you for pointing it out. Right after I made the post I thought that damnit, I should've added a question about the best sex, and not just the best orgasms. The orgasms were what we were discussing around that table in that lovely Belgian beer bar and over that omfg gorgeous beer again (because I'm very predictable - and now I think of you each time!).

Anyway. I was thinking I might do a second poll after I have a look at the results of this one, to ask more specific questions, and the best sex vs. best orgasm thing would definitely fit in there.

I'm taking this far too seriously, aren't I. Heh.

[gabby-silang.livejournal.com]

I think it's an interesting thing to make polls about. Or chat about over delicious, lovely-smelling beers. Mmmmm. Anyway, what's a better discussion topic than sex? I can't think of one. And I love to get into the crazy, wonderful variation of what gets who off and how.

[fan-elune.livejournal.com]

Tight pants and sex are the best discussions topics.

I mean, what?

You can't use this icon and expect me to stay focused, woman.

[setsuko-panda.livejournal.com]

Jade has an unashamed friendlist.